Thursday, 29 December 2011

Caught between two men

It is true, men make us feel special. Be it your dad or husband, they love and show concern in a way almost impossible for others. How it feels to get the love and concern from two men at the same time, in the most special way? When both of them are special,are my best friends and are ready to do anything to see me smile.

Here I am caught between two men. For the past seven or more years I have been treated like a queen when I am with them. And my life has always revolved around them since then. My brother and my sweetheart, the two most significant men in my life! 

I have always been proud to tell anyone and everyone that I and my brother share a wonderful relationship since childhood. He is three years younger to me and we both confide in each other almost everything. And the fact that bro is great friends with John made our relationship more strong. (In fact John was actually his friend first then later we became friends). Bro was the first one to notice my growing feeling towards John. :) He looks up to John for advice and suggestions and John treats him like his own brother. Three of us used to hang out at parks, cinemas, malls and amusement parks. 

Me being the attention seeking soul, gets all hyped and become so myself when I am with them. I feel so pampered and cared when they walk along with me just like bodyguards! My brother has always supported us through our ups and downs and he was my biggest strength during our short break up period. I am blessed to have two men loving and caring for me selflessly, touch wood!

But there is a downside. Even though they are like chuddy buddies, there is a hint of jealousy when my love is shared. Of course what I have for John is entirely different from what I give my brother. But when the care is measured, both of them feel that I love the other more. John keep on saying that ‘you don’t need me when you get your bro’ and brother says ‘now that you have John, you don’t need me’. It’s a tough situation.  I desperately fail each time I try to strike a balance.

It is kind of harmless rivalry but I am always caught between this. When they are together they pull my leg and play pranks on me. But if I take any one of their sides, things will go a bit haywire. And the worst part is when they both fight over something. They may soon patch up in some days but the days in between are horrible for me. My best solace—I never try to play the intermediary. Let them solve it themselves I think. And that has always worked.

I never want to believe that all this love and caring will change when my brother starts a family. No, I don’t. I don’t want to be relieved from the rivalry trauma either. If they are jealous, that means they value my love for them. And I know very well, they are mature enough to handle things their way. When I cry I want John’s shoulders and my brother’s lame jokes to make me smile again. I just want to be lucky like this always! Insha Allah! (This is John’s expression in such situations)
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