Monday, 22 October 2012

To Tell Her, or Not! That is the Question!

What to tell your Wife and What Not? That is the ultimate question for every man out there...

First of all, let us get the obvious stuff out of the way - MEN LIE TO THEIR WIFE! Yes, they do! Every man does it! The only thing that matters being the magnitude of the lie told and the reason for lying.

Some of us lie just to make our woman happy, the most common of which, I guess, is - "Yes Honey, You look wonderful!". Some lie to avoid a fight - "What? No, this is just my second cigarette of the day!". And some do just not to hurt her - "Never! I would never even glance at another woman!"

But then, that is not what I want to talk about here (that topic is better left alone, if you know what I mean!).

In some recent Malayalam movies that I have watched the basic theme revolved around the man not telling his wife on what he is going through and hence suffering, mostly financial, problems. My question is why? Why shouldn't the woman know on what is your financial situation?

Well, earlier days it was important to tell your wife because she was the homemaker. So she obviously had the right to know so that she could plan what is right for the family. But now, given the fact that she is also the bread-winner, isn't it even more important for both partners to know the current financial situation at home - however bad or good it might be?

Now, you might say that this is not true these days. Well, if so then why do movies still show husbands trying to make ends meet without telling their wife about it? My own sister has no idea how much her husband makes or how much balance they have in the bank. She hands over her monthly income to her husband as soon as the salary comes through - her husband gives her enough and more for her daily expenses and does not say no to the weekend shopping, movies, or other extravaganzas. But, she does not know how much savings they have! When I asked her about this, she simply said, "Why should I worry as long as all is well?". How does she even know if all is well?

I grew up in a family where my Dad never took a decision without consulting Mom. She handled the accounts for him and he always told us to never take a decision without asking the "Home Minister!". Mom was a homemaker! Dad was the Sales and Purchase manager at work. Yet, the home accounts were handled by Mom. I thought it brought 3 kindsa relief to Dad - 1) It eased his load of having to manage the finance at home. 2) He always had his wife to consult and advise for any decision that he took. 3) He did not have to say no to her - cos' she already knew if we could afford it.

I do not see any point to justify a man hiding this information from his wife. None. If you really think that if your wife would leave you if she found out your bad financial state, well then you probably should not have married her in the first place. As simple as that! 

To all the wives out there - when a man tries talking the financial situation to you - listen and respond. Don't ask too many questions (especially ones like "OMG! How will we manage next month?"). But be honest in your attention to what he is saying. If you do not, then he might slowly stop doing it. Make it a fun discussion even when it is not. It would always ease his nerves when he sees that his wife is cool about it. And then he will take care of it himself. You just have to stand by him!

P.S. After Jane's previous post on how much she looooooves being a housewife, she is back at being the breadwinner! No more a housewife! :P

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