Saturday, 28 September 2013

How to Lose a Guy in Two Months

So you think you know this person inside out and want to spend your entire life and beyond with them. You think the person is never gonna change. You plunge into the pleasures of marital life and voila; one day you got to see a complete new version of the person and you are shocked!!!

This is the current scenario inside John’s mind. Yes, quite shamelessly I say that I have become a changed person. So different from my old self that sometimes I am surprised to see what I say or do. And I blame anything and everything on (cliché alert) my pregnancy hormones.

Modus Operandi
  • You become such a selfish person that it’s always you, your comforts, likes, dislikes, moods etc etc is all that matters. You don’t care if your husband has had a very bad at office or he has a splitting headache. You think only about your food, medicine, exercise and moods swings.
  • You more or less resemble a chain-saw at night with the ear splitting snoring and nasal congestion that it’s nearly impossible for the person next to you to get some sleep. And you demand he wakes up and attends to your need in the middle of the night without hesitation.
  • There is no control over your emotions and especially your tongue that you don’t know what you are gonna say the next moment. You will be automatically trained to give tit-for-tat replies to whatever he says or suggests.
  • The TV and internet almost becomes like your better halves that he will never get a chance to watch any programs of his choice while you are within the vicinity. Remote is your monopoly. Period.
  • There is no way that he can even imagine hanging out with his friends when you are struggling with your insulin shots (unfortunately, I got high blood sugar levels a bit earlier), diet chart and glucometer. Even whatsapp is limited inside the house.
  • You have the last say in everything. Everyone, including the ill-fated brother staying with you, cannot imagine that you are his blood.

In spite of all this, if the guy still sticks to you and massages your legs, thighs and back, takes you wherever you want, attends to your whims, pats you to sleep and kisses you every time he leaves the house, not only because its his baby inside your womb but he loves you more than anything, you are just plain lucky. And I am one lucky bum!

 - Jane Doe

P.S. Apart from all the troubles I am causing John, thanks to god, we are fine. Second trimester is going on smooth and our baby is active and healthy. Thank You for all your prayers and blessings.

P.P.S. And this post is a big thank you to the man in my life for what he is and always will be.

P.P.P.S. And... Our Blog turns 2 today. Happy Blogoversary to Us! Yay!!!

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